Imagine you are a high school teacher and correct the following essay excerpt by an ESL student. Spot the mistakes. Which ones are characteristic for Asian ESL learners, according to the research essay you have read for today, and which ones are just mistakes anyone could make??? Which grade would you assign for this writing?
The Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit. First, there are many new building was build. One of the new buildings, it looks like a bird’s nest. Then, it have a big history. You can visit a lot of old buildings to know the history, just like “the summer Palace”. Finally, many people come from different country, there are kinds of restaurant. You can eat which you want to taste. Beijing is a nice place.
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I would first correct the article "the" in front of Beijing. I would explain to the student that "the" does not need to be used, because Beijing is a specific place. I would then correct the phrase, "there are many new building was build." I would explain that he should say, there are many new buildings. The phrase "was build" does not fit with the sentence. It is redundant to say that new building are built. Next, I would correct using the pronoun it in the same sentence as the subject buildings. As well as taking the comma out between looks and buildings. I would visit the next sentence taking out the "then,." Also changing have to present tense. I would have to talk to the student to understand what he was trying to say for the last few sentences. I have read them a few times and do not understand what the meaning behind the sentences.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I would remove the from the first sentence because it takes away from the meaning and there is only one Beijing. I would change the first sentece to, "Beijing is a modern city with many places to visit." This just sounds less awkward to me. I would correct the next sentence to, "There are many new buildings, and one of them even looks like a bird's nest." I think that more complex sentences make the paper sound better. Instead of saying then, it have a big history, I would say, Beijing also has a big history. You can visit old buildings to learn more about the history. The student also needs to capitalize The Summer Palace. For the last part of the paragraph, I believe the student is trying to explain that there are many different places to eat for the people coming from a different country. The wording in the last few sentences needs to be changed a bit.
ReplyDeleteoriginal:
ReplyDeleteThe Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit. First, there are many new building was build. One of the new buildings, it looks like a bird’s nest. Then, it have a big history. You can visit a lot of old buildings to know the history, just like “the summer Palace”. Finally, many people come from different country, there are kinds of restaurant. You can eat which you want to taste. Beijing is a nice place.
correction:
Beijing is a modern city,with a lot of places to visit. First, there are many new buildings. One of the new buildings looks like a bird’s nest. Beijing has an extensive history. You can visit a lot of old buildings to learn the history, such as the Summer Palace. Finally, many people come from different countries, so there are several kinds of restaurant. You can eat what you want. Beijing is a nice place.
Errors unique to Chinese ESL learners include the unneeded article "the" before Beijing.
Add "s" to building, a common ESL error cited in the ERIC text. Drop "was build," a repetitious phrase that is also common among Chinese ESL writers.
"It" prior to "looks like a bird's nest" is also an additional pronoun that is unique to this culture.
Normal grammar errors
"...and there are a lot of places to visit." Replace with "...with a lot of places to visit." Just a clean-up to make both verbs in sentence the same tense.
"Then, it have a big history." Poor grammar that is not unique. Indefinite "it" refers to Beijing, but this is also a common error by English as a first language learners. "Big" history is an inaccurate adjective, a word choice which a Chinese ESL learner might make. I am going to call that a general grammar error, however. Using "know history" in the next sentence instead of "learn" is a verb choice that a Chinese ESL learner might make. "the summer Palace" is a general grammar error, with unnecessary quotations and a need to capitalize Summer. I would also replace the phrase "...like the..." with "...such as the..." "Such as" is grammatically preferred in this case, as "like" conveys a dual meaning which sometimes can be confusing. Again, these errors are more general than unique to Chinese ESL learners. Add "different" in front of kinds. This ommitted adjective seems to be a general mistake, rather than a cultural one. The unneeded phrase "to taste" at the end of the next sentence is a cultural error, part of the repetition habit cited in the article.
I would start by rewording the first sentence & removing unnecessary articles.
ReplyDelete"Beijing is a modern city with an array of places to visit."
I would combine the next 2 sentences, correcting grammar and tenses.
"There are many new buildings, one looks like a bird’s nest."
I would also combine the following two sentences. Unnecessary repetion leads the reader to lose interest or become confused.
"You can visit old buildings like “The Summer Palace”, to see the grand history of Beijing."
As I did with the past 4 sentences, I would combine the following 2 sentences to avoid repetion, correcting grammar as needed.
"People from around the world come to Beijing bringing with them a variety of different foods and restraunts."
Examples of an Asian ESL learner's grammar mistakes:
"there are many new building"... "come from different country, there are kinds of restaurant."... "You can eat which you want to taste." Using "First", "Then", "Finally" improperly
Examples of grammar mistakes anyone could make:
"The Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit." "One of the new buildings, it looks like a bird’s nest." "You can visit a lot of old buildings to know the history, just like “the summer Palace”."
As for a grade, I am unsure.
Correction:
ReplyDeleteBeijing is a modern city and there are several places to visit. First, there are many new buildings that were built. One of the new buildings looks like a bird's nest. It has a big history. You can visit many old buildings to know the history, just like "The Summer Palace". Finally, many people come from different countries. There are many kinds of restaurants in the city, and you can eat whatever you want to taste. Beijing is a nice place.
First, I would explain the "The" in the first sentence is not necessary because Beijing is already a specific place. "The" is only needed for general places, such as "the lake" or "the city". Second, I was always taught that "a lot" is a plot of land, and is not meant to describe quantity. In the second sentence, the ending phrase "was build" needs to be changed to "were built" for two reasons: first, we are talking about muiltiple buildings, so we need "were"; second, the buildings were built in the past, not currently, so we need the past form of "build"--built. In the next sentence, we don't need the ", it" because the building has already been clarified with "one". We don't need "then" in the next sentence, and we need to change "have" to "has" because the one building is not plural. I changed "a lot" to many once again, and the phrase "The Summer Palace" all needs capitalized because it is a specific place. Country in the next sentence needs to be changed to "countries" because we are speaking about more than one. In the next sentence, I added the word "many" to describe the different kinds of restaurants the author wanted to convey. I also added the phrase "in the city" to clarify he or she was talking about the restaurants in Beijing, not the other countries. Finally, I changed "which" to "whatever" when talking about the foods, because "which" refers to specific foods, when I believe the author was going for a more generalized selection of the foods that could be tasted.
I would assign a C to this paragraph. While it's not a terrible start by any means, there are still quite a few mistakes that we could work on together and practice. Common mistakes that Asian ESL learners make include "The Beijing," "was build," "it have," and "many people...different country." Mistakes that anyone could make include "a lot," "One building..., it," "the summer Palace," and "which."
Original version:
ReplyDeleteThe Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit. First, there are many new building was build. One of the new buildings, it looks like a bird’s nest. Then, it have a big history. You can visit a lot of old buildings to know the history, just like “the summer Palace”. Finally, many people come from different country, there are kinds of restaurant. You can eat which you want to taste. Beijing is a nice place.
Corrected version:
Beijing is a modern city with many places to visit. There are many new buildings, including one that looks like a bird's nest. It has a big history, and you can visit a lot of old buildings, such as "The Summer Palace," to learn it. Many people come from different countries. There are many kinds of restaurants, so you can eat what you have a taste for. Beijing is a nice place.
Some mistakes the writer makes that are characteristic of Asian ESL learners include putting "the" in front of Beijing to begin the paragraph, confusing singular and plural by saying "many new building was build," and including a comma and "it" in the phrase "One of the new buildings, it looks like a bird's nest."
Mistakes the writer makes that anyone could make include saying first, then, and finally as transitions in the paragraph. While that is fine for younger writers learning how to write papers, high school students should no longer need to use those types of transitions. Another mistake that anyone could make is not capitalizing all the words in "the summer Palace."
I would give the writer a B on the paper, being a little lenient on him or her for the language barrier, but still taking off points for mistakes anyone should know better than to commit.
Well i would tell the strudent that you do not need a the in front of Beijing because you dont need it in front of particlar cites. Then i would change the sentence "there are many new building was build" . the sentence was a bit arward . i would probley say " there were many buldings bulit. the dentence tyhat iclides the sentence " it had" would have to be change bacsue the verb tense is wrong . i would be "it has"."Finally, many people come from different country, there are kinds of restaurant. " this sentence does not need a common .
ReplyDeletei would gibe this student a b becasue he did have mistake but he tryt his best
The Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit. First, there are many new building was build. One of the new buildings, it looks like a bird’s nest. It has a big history. You can visit a lot of old buildings to know the history, just like “the summer Palace”. Finally, many people come from different country, there are kinds of restaurant. You can eat which you want to taste. Beijing is a nice place.
ReplyDeleteCorrection:
Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit. First, there are many new buildings that were built. One of the new buildings, it looks like a bird’s nest. Then, it has a big history. You can visit a lot of old buildings to know the history, just like “the summer Palace”. Finally, many people come from different countries. There are many different kinds of restaurant and you can eat what you have a taste for. Beijing is a nice place.
Characteristics of Asian ESL learner
1. Adding the in front of Beijing
2. Confusing singular with plural, "there are many new buildings build"
3. Instead of " have a big history", "has a big history"
Mistakes anyone can make
1. Not capitalizing " the summer palace"
2. Writing country...instead of countries
I would give this assignment a D, because just reading through the essay is very confusing, because you get what the writer is trying to say, but it doesn't come across as if they know what they are saying, because of the grammatical mistakes.
The Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit. First, there are many new building was build. One of the new buildings, it looks like a bird's nest. It has a big history. You can visit a lot of old buildings to know the history, just like "the Summer Palace". Finally, many people come from different country, there are kinds of restaurants. You can eat which you want to taste. Beijung is a nice place.
ReplyDeleteCorrect Paragraph:
Beijing is a modern city and there are alot of places to visit. First, there are many new buildings including one that looks like a bird's nest which has a lot of history. You can visit a lot of old buildings to know the history just like "The Summer Palace". Finally, people come from different countries. There are different kinds of restaurants where you can eat whatever you want to taste. Beijing is a nice place.
Some characteristics of Asian ESL learners is that they add "the" in front of words that don't belong like "The Beijing is a modern city..." and they also confuse singular with plural like "there are many new buildings" and "have a big history".
Some common grammar errors are not captitalizing proper nouns like "the summer palace" and using the plural tense of "countries" instead of "country".
As far as a final grade, I would be unsure what to give the writer considering the fact that the writer is an Asian ESL learner. I would work with the person to help them obtain a better understanding of the English language.
One of my majors is Secondary English Education, so here's my take on it:
ReplyDeleteThe first problem is in the first sentence, and that is starting the sentence with "The", which is not needed before talking about Beijing. This seems like a translation mistake to me. The next sentence has a few problems. Maybe it's not a mistake, but I feel that it isn't needed to start the sentence off with "First", maybe because after reading the whole thing I didn't see another sentence start with "Second". That seems like an error anyone can make. However, "was build" is not correct due to tense issues, and that's definitely an ESL translation issue. The sentence should read something like: "There are many new buildings that were built." The next sentence shouldn't have the comma and "it" in it. I'm not sure if that's really a Chinese translation issue though, as I've heard in everyday conversation people talking like this, even though it's not grammatically correct. "Then it have a big history" is a bit tricky for me, because I can't really tell what the student is referring to. Does the building that look like a bird's nest have a big history, or the city of Beijing? It's unclear, and students of all sorts make these sorts of mistakes more often than you think. Since this needs to be corrected and I can't ask the student himself, I'll assume that the student is referring to the city (as that's the subject of what he's writing), and would change the sentence to "The city has a big history." And no, I didn't forget that there's a tense problem in the sentence by having "have" instead of "has", and that I think is maybe a translation error. I'd change the next sentence to "You can visit alot of old buildings to learn the history, like The Summer Palace." Originally, the student put down "know" which I think is an ESL issue of just word choice knowledge, and it isn't as good of a choice as "learn". There was an extraneous "just" in there before the "like", which I think is an error anyone can make. I'm actually not entirely clear on this myself, but I know the way the student wrote "the summer Palace" is wrong. I don't think you need to put quotes around a location, but since it's a specific place, I think the student needs to capitalize the first letter of all those words. The next part needs work. I would actually rearrange the last part like this: "Finally, many people come from different countries, so there are many different kinds of restaurants. You can eat whatever you want". I saw most of the errors as tense/extraneous word issues that I would guess stem from ESL translation issues. The last sentence is the only sentence I see nothing wrong with.
The Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit. First, there are many new building was build. One of the new buildings, it looks like a bird’s nest. Then, it have a big history. You can visit a lot of old buildings to know the history, just like “the summer Palace”. Finally, many people come from different country, there are kinds of restaurant. You can eat which you want to taste. Beijing is a nice place.
ReplyDeleteCorrection:Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit. First there are many new buildings and one of them even looks like a birds nest. Then, it has a lot of history; you can visit a lot of old buildings, like The Summer Palace. Finally, there are many that come from different countries. The nice part about Beijing is that there a lot of types of different restaurants. Beijing is a nice place.